Sheesh Mahal in Llanelli, South Wales

Reputedly the best Mitch dispenser in Llanelli, I went in there and had a Mitch.

The meal

Vegetable paneer masala or something
Chana aloo
Egg n pea fried rice
Flat coke
After eight mint with bill

The experience

On first entering the Sheesh I was offered a table right next to a massive water feature. It was well noisy, like being sat next to a broken drain in a storm.  I asked if I could move to the table next to the toilet which was more to my liking.

My waiter was friendly and had some sort of football player's Mohawk with mullet tail hair do.  It was pretty dope actually, much better than my wispy comb over.  The food turned up very quickly which made me think they must have read my mind before I'd got there, perhaps when I was  outside Newport on the M4.

Mid meal my mind began to wander and I found myself wondering how these places outside London survive.  I know it's frightfully metro prejudice of me, but what do people outside London do, they can't all run curry houses or be bank robbers?  I suppose it's my narrow mindedness, sheet I don't even know what's going on anymore.  By the way the voice in my head while I wonder things is that of Eddie murphy in Beverley hills cop.

Food - 3.68/5
Atmosphere - 2.76/5
Architecture match - deco ballroom meets midlands hotel conference suite

Chillies in Royal Wootton Bassett

A small Mikey house in Wootton Bassett Hound, one of two in a town which majors on Union Jack flags, a high street, and some shops.

The meal
Vegetable vindaloo
Motor paneer
Pilau rice
Watery coke
After eight mint with bill
Hot towel thing which I'm never sure if it is ok to wipe your face with (does this count as part of the meal?)

The experience
I was the first diner in the joint which meant I had three blokes hovering round me trying to be busy.  But they were nice and dug my out of town vibe, they knew I wasn't some local honky farmer or squaddie in for an out of body lager experience.  We exchanged knowing Mikey glances and I felt reassured.

The rice was a little dry and the vindaloo a little tomatoey, but the jewel in the crown was the motor paneer.  This is the first time I have tried the dish, in the past I have always assumed it was some sort of gearbox component of the fabulous Hindustan ambassador car, but now I realise it is cheese and chick peas.

As I ate my food my mind wandered, I experienced the rice via interpretive mime, the vindaloo by telekinesis and the paneer via my mouth.  The combination of the three led to thoughts of the loss of british identity, our fading memories of World Cup victory, and non need for a trident replacement beyond national ego and trying to avoid our inevitable loss of global standing.  Washed done with a coke.

Food - 2.32/5
Atmosphere - 2.45/5
Architecture match - Arts and crafts

Guff

Hello testing one two